"Hey, here's a great new idea for a field of pure mathematics!" "Cool! What do we call it?" "We need a name that's catchy, interesting, and attracts people to study it. Hmm..." "Pointless topology!" How the conversation actually went: "Cool!" How the conversation should have gone: "That's a terrible idea. What'd you major in, applied burger-flipping?" "Hey, Ronald McCollege is a certified academic institution!" "Get out of my laboratory!"